My Path…

What Do You See? 18″x24″ work in progress (mixed media painting on wood)

This is my path …

I was recently dropping off some art to Kaleido, a local festival and was struck by the amount of really good art. Like, REALLY good. I haven’t been working for awhile -boy summer DOES get in the way- and I had grabbed the few painting that I have left so, I wasn’t really feeling GREAT about my offering.

(YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS HEADING, DON’T YOU?)

ENTER MY FRIEND … the ego …

When I look at some artist’s work I feel kind of envious because their art is ‘cool’, ‘hip’ or ‘modern’. I think, ‘ I wish I did THAT’. I am sure that we all feel that some time or another, it is a sucky feeling isn’t? I hate feeling envious of someone ‘s life or art. I really try not to, but sometimes it is hard.

So I went home and I was feeling kind of icky in my belly. Bothered. Uneasy. I am sure that some of these feelings were coming from other things as well. I have a show in November that I have to paint …entirely … yikes …and I have several festival shows to get ready for … a lot of work … lucky I have so much spare time …ha, ha, ha!

But you know, I am getting good at kicking that ego out the door. I started thinking about the art I was liking and about my art and I realized that I couldn’t paint those paintings because they weren’t on my path. I am on my own path. Maybe my path isn’t as cool as a twenty somethings path but you know what is even less cool? Painting something that isn’t authentically you. Staying on coarse and painting honestly is always the right choice.

Today, as I work up in the loft for the first time in what seems like absolute ages, I feel really happy. I have all my textures and patterns, ripped up papers and images around me and I feel that even though I didn’t know I was filling the well while I was away, maybe the well was being filled. I have images of the west coast in my head, childhood memories and smells are a little closer to the surface and Emily Carr keeps stopping by. So this is good. This is very good.

I just want to express my gratitude at this turn in my life two years ago when I decided that I was an artist and I better start proving it. As I sit in my studio, I really have accomplished my dreams. How lucky am I? I get to be an artist. Life is good. I can’t tell you all how much I appreciate your support. You allow me to realize my dream to be an artist. Thanks.

I better get back on that path now …