Free As A bird ( I Wish I Could Make It All Better)
This is a 18″x24″ mixed media painting on wood from My Too Small series.
The image of a bird cage just keeps popping into my head and on to the pages of my sketchbook but, I until now, I have not included it in an actual painting.
I love the see-through quality, and delicate wire bars of this Victorian birdcage. As a sculpture, a birdcage is rather beautiful and decorative. (Indeed, many people collect birdcages just for that reason.) However, I can’t help looking at an empty birdcage without feeling a little sad. Like something is missing. (Well, a bird obviously!) Perhaps I just need to try thinking about it differently; that the bird has escaped its captures and is free. This would make me happy if I was not so sure that a bird that was once caged would most likely not fair so well out in the wild.
I worry about being over protective with my children. How will they fair if I never let them fail? I constantly try to protect them from any hurt or nastiness that this world may bring them. Will they be able to make it all better for themselves? Comfort their own hurt? How can I teach them these skills? And, indeed, is it already to late? If I keep them caged up now, what chance do they have? At the same time, I want their childhood to be magic, innocence and joy. Childhood should be paradise. It should be free of worry and sadness. It is the only time that we are truly allowed the freedom of those feeling. When I see children that are deprived of those things my heart aches.
It is such a balance isn’t it? Just finding that perfect balance is a life’s work. A mother’s work. (And father’s too, of course).
ACEO The Pout
Boy, I know I am in for it when she wakes up like this! Those lips just don’t quit!
Another ACEO available on etsy.
ACEO The Ballerina
Monday morning, I always like to wake up to someone including me in a treasury on etsy. It just makes the day start out right. Especially when it is with a group artists that are so amazing. In fact, most of them were already favorites of mine on etsy! Anyway, the piece that was included is called ‘Red Guitar’ (available) and the treasury is entitled ‘Little Women’.
The above ACEO is called The Ballerina.
SOLD
Little, Little Red Riding Hood
Here is a smaller version of Don’t Stray From The Path. It is a mixed media ACEO that i finished today.
SOLD
Oh, by the way, yesterday I was featured in this really neat newsletter called Paper Street’s Catch Of The Day, this is a family operation (even their eight year old son is involved). You have to subscribe to get the newsletter emailed to you http://paperstreetsupplies.com/
They also have a shop on etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5291682
Thanks you guys!
Poppies
A beauty amongst the beauties. Don’t you think?
8″x12″ profile canvas (3″deep). The sides are painted red.
Double click on the painting to get directly to my etsy shop.
The Pear Tree
We have the most amazing pear tree growing in our back yard. I get real pleasure looking at this tree that we planted, only three years ago, in a yard that had nothing (and I mean NOTHING) in it. Not only has this tree tripled in size but it has fruit for the first time! This in EDMONTON! Truly amazing. This painting pays homage to our pear tree. The fruit hasn’t really made it to this size but one can dream.
Victoria Rain
This is an original 2.5″x3.5″ mixed media piece on 100% rag paper.
I guess Victoria was on my mind today. I miss it, what can I say …
rain and all.
Watching The High Wire Act
Poor Circus Girl. Watching the high wire act still makes her nervous.
Another Circus Girl study. This is a 2.5″x3.5″ mixed media painting on 100% rag paper.
The Bearded Lady
Continuing the Circus theme. This is an ACEO of a bearded lady. I actually don’t know if this woman (?) was in the Circus. I found this photo online and thought I’d do a little painting of it. I just don’t know … she really does not look like a woman. But then again, what would I look like with a big bushy beard?
What Is The Opposite Of The Midas Touch? (‘Cause That Is What I Had Today)
Boy, today was difficult.
Some days, you go to the drawing table and it works. Most days, thankfully. It may take a little pushing or pulling but eventually, it works.
Today was not one of those days.
I was finally feeling well enough to work, Chris took the girls out, and the loft had cooled down to a workable temperature, but no matter how much I pushed, pulled, prodded, stamped my feet, yelled, pulled my hair – yes, it came to that – not matter what I did, it just did not work. It was like the opposite of the Midas touch. Dare I say, I created some mighty, mighty crappy art today! I started to think : maybe I have lost my touch. Maybe I will never create another good piece of art ever again. Maybe everything I create will be like a mediocre piece of grade 7 art- not even that good when you were in grade 7, and even worse when you are … well, we don’t need to go there. I feel bad enough already.
I know that we need to make little messes every now and then to get to the good stuff and that it is all part of the creative process, but it was still a very frustrating day.
I can’t post any art today.
It would just be to embarrassing.
Another Still Moment
I did this ACEO today of Scarlett. It is another study of a moment when my two year old was unusually still and contemplative. A moment to celebrate.
Life’s First Breath
This is a 8″x 8″ profile canvas that I painted for 8 minutes of Peace. http://www.8minutesofpeace.com/
My first daughter was born at eight minutes to eight in the morning. It was the most profound, awesome and blessed moment of my whole life. To know that she was finally in this world and that she was healthy and safe was the greatest peace I had ever felt. Life is just too precious. We are all someone’s babe. All of us.
The Pink Tutu
This is a drawing of Imogen in her Tutu from my sketchbook.
When we were in Victoria we bought a fairy dress and a tutu for the girls and the night before we flew home we put some music on and let the kids dance around. I was laughing so hard at them all and the way Scarlett (2) was moving to the music. Then, if that wasn’t enough, my Mum put the Tutu on Matthew (2.5). It was so hilarious I was crying! He is such a boy and to see him dancing around in this delicate pink Tutu when he is anything BUT pink and delicate was so cute, but really funny as well.
Poor Matthew, I photographed and video taped the whole thing.
Oh well, when he gets older he can just blame us crazy women for making him wear it…
… BUT I’ll let you in on a little secret: he was just dying to put that pink Tutu on!
Another Circus Girl Painting…
This is a new Circus Girl painting that I just finished today. It is a mixed media piece on a 4″x8″ profile (3″deep) canvas.
Shopping In My Sleep (or The Phantom Wardrobe)
“Lace Coat” 8″x12″, mixed media painting on canvas, 2007
So this morning when I was getting dressed I wondered to myself where that perfect little black cardigan I just bought was. Then I realized I had only dreamt about buying that cardigan.
I was so bummed.
It all came flooding back to me.
I had dreamt about shopping for clothes and I’d found quite a few cute little numbers. I felt so jipped, I mean, a lot of these pieces that I acquired were classics that would have filled a lot of gaps in my wardrobe quite nicely . I felt like I’d got them for a good price too but that, I can’t be sure of. I know I’d tried on a lot of stuff so, to wake up and realize that it was all for nought, was just so unfair! (Now I sound like my five year old).
I still feel kind of robbed and I can’t help but think, that maybe, all the clothes that I purchased in the dream are actually hanging in my closet but are somehow, mysteriously INVISIBLE. Like a “phantom wardrobe”.
I am sure that it is going to make it even harder for me to decide what to wear ever day and kind of makes the expression, “I have nothing to wear”, even that much more literal.
Horizontally Challenged
Not only am I not a landscape artist, I will take it one step further and say that I am not even a horizontal artist! I have painted quite a few paintings over the last six months and I have only completed one horizontal piece. (The above painting of Lilies). The other horizontal painting I started never got finished. This is rare for me. If I start a painting, I usually finish it, but not this one. This one was NOT good and was going to remain that way. So I ditched it.
None of this matters really but yesterday I was just wondering why I like vertical so much. I was looking at a new painting that I was working on and it struck me: VERTICAL! AGAIN! WHY?
I guess the answer is fairly obvious. I am a figurative painter (mostly) and we humans are vertical by nature. So it does make sense. Let’s just say, I am horizontally challeged. Hey, come to think of it, having two little kids makes me horizontally challenged in more ways than the way I turn my canvas! HA!
In The Wings
Yesterday was Imogen’s novice ballet recital. She did a great job. Some of the older girls were so beautiful dancing their solos. I got all weepy about it all and then right in the middle of the show, everything was stopped and a teacher came out carrying a sobbing little girl. Her parents were called and when she saw her Daddy approach the stage her little body shook and she sobbed even harder with relief. That was just too much for me. Tears were streaming down my face. It would have been very embarrassing if it hadn’t been so dark in the theatre.
This multi media piece is called “Waiting”. I did it a little while ago. This is what I wrote about it at the time:
How much time does a dancer wait in the wings? Certainly more time than actually dancing. I am sure it is true of a lot of things but I am so intrigued by the world of dancing right now that I couldn’t help but paint this.
Matthew- Two
I did this ACEO of my nephew Matthew. He is the cutest. Two and a half and so smart. He can count to 20 in english and to 10 in french. He really is adorable. The way he looks at you. He really looks at you. It is kind of unnerving, like he can see right into your soul.
I must add that although his cuteness is undeniable, he truely is a two year old in every way. Not unlike my two year old, Scarlett.
I remember when Imogen,my five year old was two, I was amazed at the blossoming of her personality. I just found it so amazing and as exasperating as she could be, I was so taken with getting to know her that I can honestly say it was my favorite age.
Two year olds are just so cute and it is a good thing because when they kick you, hit you or bite you it makes it easier to keep your cool. I guess there is a reason for everything.
I Talked To A Crow Today
I talked to a crow today,
or rather, he talked to me.
I’m not sure what he was going on about
but he did go on and on and on.
I talked to a crow today,
he had an awful lot to say.
“Mr. Crow,” I said politely, ” will you please let me get a word in?”
But he wasn’t even listening.
He went on and on and on.
That is the way it is with crows,
and sometimes with people too.
Not really interested in conversing,
but rather in the sound of their own voice.
I listened to a crow today,
he went on and on and on.
Singing The Blue Pencil Blues
OK, I admit it. My attachment to my blue pencil is a bit on the fanatical side. It could be even considered a crutch that I should just let go of. Perhaps, but I want to let go of it at my own pace, not be forced into it. OK, OK, I have had this pencil for several years… OK, more than several, probably about twenty. Did I hear a gasp? Yes, I have had this pencil for over twenty years, but let me explain.
When I was about twenty I found this amazing set of coloured indelible pencils, in the box at a second hand store. They were so beautiful! They were old when I bought them. I’d say from the 50’s. I used them a little then. Once in awhile. I was in college and University during this time and was more into ink, conte and charcoal for my drawing class and acrylics for painting, so they just sat in my old tin box of art stuff. Over the years I did occasionally use the light blue for preliminary sketches but the rest just sat untouched for the last twenty years.
Flash forward twenty years and I’ve been doing this mixed media stuff like crazy and using this blue pencil in every single piece. A couple of weeks ago I was sharpening it and I forced myself to face the fact that I was going to need to find a replacement pencil, knowing full well that it was going to be pretty much impossible.
Did I tell you about the colour blue that this pencil is? The most beautiful peacock blue you have ever seen. When I was sixteen I had a friend that dyed her hair this colour. Amazing while it lasted. (Not unlike my pencil). When I wet it, it becomes the perfect shadow on skin. I looks so beautiful as a line drawing. It doesn’t even need anything else. It is perfect in the nude. And Because it is indelible it comes through when you paint over it. It is Perfect. It is perfection. Why, oh why do they not make it anymore?
I did look on the web and I found these vintage pencils for sale at $2.50 each (not including shipping). ACT NOW! LIMITED STOCK! So, of course I bought 12! I know. Freak. I couldn’t draw every day for the rest of my life and use up all 12 of these pencils. What was I thinking? They came the other day and they are not the same blue. Not even close. I am so sad. I guess I better suck it up and figure out some new technique to try to get the effect that I like but I don’t think I will be able to walk into another second hand store or pass a garage sale sign without my heart fluttering with the hope of finding replacement for my beloved blue pencil.
Pink Frosting
Come on, admit it, the frosting is the best part. As we get older we eat the cake part as well. It is all part of good cupcake etiquette. It just wouldn’t be acceptable to do what all three year olds do and lick that puppy until it is a wet and shiny globe resembling the top of Daddy Warbuck’s head.
Lilies
This is a multi media 2.5″x3.5″ original ACEO.
I love lilies. Painting them is a great excuse for buying them. Shhhh…don’t tell my husband.
Art Right Now
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.
Pablo Picasso
When I was a little girl I would do art any chance I could get. I loved to be creative and was always encouraged by my Mum. It was fun. I enjoyed doing it. In fact, there was nothing I liked better. It was never a chore! It was never dull.
So, what happened? When I was a teenager I romanticised about a lot of things: Marriage, children, getting older.Visions of Picasso danced in my head. Like Picasso before me, I saw my future self eating dinner and then taking my fish bones and making a clay relief. I would have a bohemian house with piles of art and reference books on the dining room table. I would paint along side of my toddler. Look at us painting together for hours at a time. I won’t go as far as to say I imagined myself wearing a striped black and white t- shirt and shorts but I will say that I was totally out of touch with reality. First of all, toddlers require constant help when they do art, and their attention span is all of oh, lets say, 15 minutes. If you are lucky. Also, I can’t stand stuff all over the place, let alone my dining room table. I need that table to feed my kids and I don’t want their grubby little fingers all over my good books! Not to mention that I don’t even like fish very much, let alone a whole fish with bones.
I guess as I got older so much stuff got in the way of the pure process of creation. I had a constant dialogue going through my brain. Is it good enough? Who will like this? Is it too commercial or illustrative? or not enough? Is the palette to cold? Too dark? Too muddy? How could I tap into the pureness of what I was doing if the whole time I was doing it my head was questioning whether I should be doing it all. I don’t know who initially put these questions in my head. College, University, people of influence all played a part. Life isn’t the way I imagined it. The fun in art definitely was no longer part of my process. I no longer felt excited to create. It was just so much pressure: to create art that everybody likes is really hard.
Now, it has come full circle and as a Mother I watch my girls create and I am inspired by them. They don’t worry about the outcome. They just enjoy the act of making something. Anything. When it is done, it is done, and they move on to the next thing. They don’t dwell on it. It is about the process not the product. Sure we all want to create art that we like, and that other people like too, but if that is all we focus on it becomes a chore and where is the fun in that? It is so nice not to be in that angst ridden part of my life. At forty, it is so great to be able to reassociate art with fun, and know I can still learn new stuff even if it is stuff I knew at the age of three.
